A dollar's worth of ground rules.

What your dollar buys

One submission costs $1 USD, paid once. After payment, the Meat Retreat team considers the submission and votes. Your result includes a majority opinion and, when there is disagreement, a minority opinion. A unanimous result says so. No particular answer, rewrite, deadline, or unanimous vote is guaranteed.

Results are delivered through a private case page, with an email notification when email service is configured. Save your private link. Case content and results remain available for up to 90 days after submission.

Who and what belongs here

You must be at least 18 and have the right to share your submission. Remove identifying details about other people. Discuss your own choices or a draft you are considering sending. You're asking for perspective, not commissioning harassment.

Do not submit threats, targeted abuse, sexual content involving minors, material you have no right to share, private records, or requests to identify, contact, expose, or harm someone. We may reject submissions that break these rules or that the team cannot responsibly review.

Opinions, with a sense of humor

The language can be sharp, especially on Am I a Total Piece of Shit. The verdict is a subjective judgment about the situation you describe, not a factual finding about a person's character. Our team's credentials are part of the joke; they do not make this legal, medical, mental health, religious, food safety, or other professional advice.

This service is not monitored for emergencies and is not a place to seek urgent help. We never send your draft to its intended recipient.

Rejections and refunds

If we reject a paid submission, we initiate a refund through the original payment method before closing it. Your case page explains the rejection. Your bank controls when a refund appears. A result you disagree with is not, by itself, a reason for a refund.

Unpaid cases do not enter the review queue. Test mode uses simulated payments, so there is no charge or financial refund.

Your words and your result

Your submission remains yours. You allow our team and service providers to process it and return a result to you. We do not acquire permission to publish your story publicly. Please do not use a ruling to harass anyone or present it as a professional finding.

Practical limits

We work to keep the service available and accurate, but a small team can make mistakes or take time. The service may be paused for maintenance or capacity. These terms do not remove rights that applicable law gives you.